I'm pretty frustrated right now, so I'll just list out what happened and see if anyone can help.
- Got a new laptop not too long ago (5 hours?). Samsung Series 5 535U3C
- Started it up; everything is cool. Boots right into Windows 8 setup and everything is fine
- Shortly afterwards, I go right into checking Windows Updates (as I usually do when I get a new computer). Checking for updates...
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